Thursday after work at about 5:30pm I went to the Main Street Bar & Grill in Hapeville, close to work. There I met Brian and Casey. We were still expecting a lot of other people to arrive. About fifteen minutes later more people started to show up: James, Anil, Scott, Mallick, Veena, and Elizabeth. At this point, we were all crowding the bar (most people ordered a beer and I got a jack & coke). A little while later, Carole arrived and we moved over to the tables they had set up for us.
Some of Carole’s old co-workers showed up and sat down with us as well. A few people ordered appetizers, and I ordered cheese sticks. I got a second jack & coke. A while later, Allison and a couple of other people showed up. At Carole’s suggestion, a few people (including myself) paged Brent enticing him to show up. He responded that he was busy doing budgeting and couldn’t make it.
Brian and Anil left at about 6:30. Around this time, we all migrated to the restaurant next-door which has a bar and pool tables. Carole lamented that she wishes we had a camera. I mentioned that I had mine in my car. I got my camera and joined everyone in the new bar. A few people were starting to play pool. I ordered another jack & coke. After a game, people pooled into teams. The table we were playing at included me and Allison on a team against Veena and James. We played a few games and then switched around.
As time went on, some more people left and I was thinking about leaving too. Around 10pm I heard my phone ring. It was Michele. I answered the phone and could immediately tell that she was upset. I said that I was still at the happy-hour and asked her ‘whats up?’ and then she mumbled something incoherent. Then she said something about me breaking a promise to her?! I wasn’t too sure what she was talking about and asked for clarification. She then said that we should talk about it on Friday. That was the end of the conversation. I was pretty upset by this. The past weekend I made sure that I specifically told Michele that I was going to be doing this after work on Thursday. I went home shortly after this. I never did take any pictures.
Today I was still pretty mad at Michele for jumping all over me last night. Around 11am she IMed me and our conversation went something like this:
[10:54 AM] Michele: How are things this morning?
[11:08 AM] Jeff: Pretty good. How are things with you?
[11:11 AM] Michele: okay
[11:11 AM] Michele: I thought you might be ignoring me
[11:11 AM] Jeff: Nope, I’m just busy working!
[11:12 AM] Michele: I’m sorry I was miffed at you last night
[11:12 AM] Jeff: It’s ok, I understand.
[11:13 AM] Michele: no, there is absolutely on way you can understand
[11:13 AM] Michele: and how dare you say it’s okay!
[11:13 AM] Jeff: okay then maybe you can explain.
[11:13 AM] Michele: like I actually did something wrong
[11:13 AM] Jeff: I’m still trying to add up where you think I lied to you.
[11:14 AM] Michele: you broke a promise to me
[11:14 AM] Jeff: But I keep coming up short.
[11:14 AM] Michele: you promised that you wouldn’t do things that would give me any reason to doubt you
[11:14 AM] Jeff: excuse me?
[11:14 AM] Jeff: What did I do?
[11:15 AM] Jeff: You didn’t seem to have a problem with me going out after work with my boss and co-workers the three times I told you.
[11:15 AM] Jeff: But then all of a sudden you blow up. I mean what more can I do? I warned you this past weekend and you were completely o.k. with it (or at elast that’s the way you presented yourself)
[11:16 AM] Michele: I don’t have a problem with it
[11:16 AM] Michele: you just don’t act with a whole lot of consederation
[11:16 AM] Michele: you actually smirked at me when I called you
[11:16 AM] Michele: I do not like that
[11:16 AM] Jeff: You’re really fishing aren’t you?
[11:16 AM] Michele: fishing
[11:16 AM] Michele: fishing?
[11:17 AM] Jeff: Yeah, you’re just looking for an excuse to be mad or jealous or whatever. We talked about this beforehand.
[11:17 AM] Michele: No, I’m nor mad, jealous, or whatever
[11:17 AM] Jeff: If you didn’t have a problem with it when I told you about it, then why do you have a problem now?
[11:17 AM] Michele: I don’t have a problem with it
[11:17 AM] Jeff: Doing what you’re doing now is being inconsiderate, Michele.
[11:18 AM] Michele: what?!?
[11:18 AM] Jeff: how about: accusing me of lying to you?
[11:18 AM] Michele: okay, yeah, that isn’t very nice, I admitt it
[11:18 AM] Jeff: What _exactly_ did I lie to you about?
[11:19 AM] Michele: you said “happy hour” not all night long
[11:19 AM] Michele: and it’s probably semantics, but still
[11:20 AM] Jeff: So when I told that you you and when you said you were ok with it, what did you think? If you wanted clarification, why didn’t you ask?
[11:20 AM] Michele: I didn’t think I needed clarification
[11:20 AM] Jeff: It feels to me like you were waiting in ambush to jump all over me about the wording I use. Am I wrong?
[11:20 AM] Michele: I thought it was pretty straightforward
[11:21 AM] Jeff: Well I certainly don’t appreciate being told that I’m lying to you. I did everything I could to be completely upfront and informative with you and STILL it’s not good enough.
[11:21 AM] Michele: I’m sorry, I just think it would have been nice for you to call or just have been less smug when I called you
[11:21 AM] Jeff: I wasn’t smug! I’m sorry if I sounded that way
[11:21 AM] Michele: you laughed at me
[11:21 AM] Jeff: I did not!
[11:22 AM] Jeff: I have to go, we can talk about this later.
[11:22 AM] Michele: look, I’m not going to argue with you about it, I am sorry, I’m wrong, I’m bad, what I said wasn’t true, you didn’t lie
[11:22 AM] Michele: we will NOT talk about this later
[11:23 AM] Michele: you always find some stupid excuse to walk out in the middle of a fight
[11:35 AM] *** mlsuddreth@hotmail.com signed off at Fri Oct 11 11:35:57 2002
That conversation didn’t go very well. Later that afternoon we talked more and got things pretty much straightened out. When I got home from work around 5:30pm, Michele was already there. We talked more, had a big argument and eventually came to a mutual understanding and got everything patched up.
The problem all boiled down to her assuming that when I said ‘happy-hour’ that it wouldn’t be over an hour or two. Instead, it was most of the night. She felt that I wasn’t upfront with her about that. From my point of view, when I told her about the happy-hour last weekend, I assumed that she knew it was pretty much an open-ended thing and that I gave fair warning.
In the future we’re going to try to be more clear on things like this.